I think about him a great deal, and as time has gone on, gradually I'm able to look back more with gratitude for a friendship shared than with sadness for what I've lost.
I never did get around to posting what I stood up and said, and so for the sake of posterity, here it is:
Dear John
One of the many things you were good at was letter writing, and I could always count on receiving a letter from you marking key milestones in my life. Some letters would be to celebrate good times – in fact I had a note from you only a few weeks ago marking my career change, and as your last letter to me, it is something I will treasure forever. Other letters would be there to help me get through those tougher times in life. This is one of those tougher times, and I have no letter from you. So I guess, at last, I must step up and return the favour, and be the letter writer.
John, I first met you here in this very building. Well, that’s probably not entirely true. I first saw you in this very building, and I know for sure that it was just a little bit less than 27 years ago, in the Autumn of 1989. I’d just done my GCSEs, I’d just joined the church youth group, I’d just met a girl, and you were her Dad. As I said, I saw a Mr Wilson. I think it might be an exaggeration to say that I actually met you. I was a shy 16 year-old, and speaking to people didn’t come easy at that point in my life. I remember very clearly seeing Mr Wilson, as he went up to the front of the church to assist with communion – he looked very smart in his blazer and tie, and he looked very serious, maybe even a little bit stern.
Isn’t it funny how wrong first impressions can be?
Over the last 27 years I got to know you, I realised you had a wonderful sense of humour, didn’t take yourself too seriously, and knew how to have fun. (For everyone here, if you’re not sure about this, take a look at the photo that Nicky and Jake chose for the back of the order of service. It is of John in one of his favourite places – Disney World in Florida.)
John, I’m going to miss our sporting catch ups. We enjoyed following the progress of our national teams together. Just for the record John, you’d be interested to hear that England drew their first game in the Euros against Russia, and the final test against Sri Lanka has gone to a fifth day today. But, the best news from the weekend was that England beat Aussie’s down under in the rugby!
John, you’ve been many things to me over the years. Starting out with being simply my girlfriend’s Dad, you’ve also been:
- my A-level chemistry tutor - and a very fine one you were too!;
- my father-in-law;
- a wonderful Grandad to my son Jake;
- my next door neighbour; and
- a source of support and a trusted advisor.
With my love always
Miff
