Sunday 17 October 2021

Bond

 Took the dog for a walk in the woods with Nicky. Seemed like a good idea to get me moving and loosen up some stiff muscles after far too many steps on Saturday. And it was a good idea. The only problem was that within 50 yards of getting to the woods Willow met another dog who was a little boisterous. Between the two of them they managed to trip me up, and I instinctively put my hands out to cushion my fall as I went down. Not great for a frozen shoulder!

Thankfully after a fair amount of cursing, some pain relief and a few minutes of relaxation when back home, we were ready to face the main attraction of the day - a trip to the cinema to see the much-delayed and long-awaited latest Bond movie.

At this point stop reading if you are bothered about spoilers.

Having reflected on things for a few days (this is not being written on Sunday!) my conclusion is that they just can't do that to us! I can't help but wonder whether Daniel Craig (who I think was listed as an assistant producer or something similar in the credits) had too much influence in the decision. Did he say that he wanted to make it categorical that this time around he really meant it - this was to be his last film - no more, no way - and to make it beyond question let's have his version of Bond die at the end of the movie.

However, Daniel Craig is not James Bond. And if my guess is right, someone (Barbara Broccoli, Michael Wilson, someone from the Fleming estate) should have stood up to him and said no, that's not how things are done around here. You are the latest actor to have the privilege to play James Bond, and somebody else will be along for the next film. You are expected to hand him over alive. We all know that Bond is a fiction, a fantasy, and that he really should have died many many times over during his various escapades. But, this is precisely the point, the whole fiction and the whole fantasy relies on Bond being both immortal and invincible. If you chuck that away (and let's be honest in this case you chuck it away to a pretty crappy villain in the shape of Rami Malek) then you've got nothing left.

Frustratingly, we've no idea what any of the critics think about this. They can't possibly comment on this fundamental point in any film reviews at the moment, as to do so would be to give away the last three minutes of the movie, and none of them would dare to do that. Maybe we'll start to hear more opinions once the film has been out for a while and it can be discussed openly.

For me, it's just not Bond. He always triumphs. He always prevails. He always diffuses the bomb, ideally with 0:07 left on the timer.